Finding Joy in January (Even in the Midwest)

Let’s acknowledge this upfront:
January is not doing us any favors.

It’s gray.
It’s cold in a way that feels unnecessary.
And in Iowa, January has a personality—and that personality is “I will humble you.”

So yes, finding joy in January sounds like an oxymoron, especially if you’re grieving. And yet… here we are, giving it a try anyway. Because grief doesn’t take the winter off, and neither does real life.

A Lifelong Midwesterner (Who Is Over Winter)

If you’ve lived in the Midwest your whole life, you were probably raised to endure winter.
You learned to layer. You purchased all of heated clothing items. You learned to say things like, “It wouldn't be bad without the windchill.”

But somewhere along the way—maybe after decades of Midwest winters—you started thinking:
I have done my time.

You can love where you’re from and crave sun in the winter.
You can appreciate four seasons and find yourself Googling warm destinations in January. Like everyday.

This isn’t weakness.
It’s wisdom.

And when you’re grieving, the lack of sunlight and warmth can feel even heavier. Winter grief has a way of settling into the body, especially when the days are short and the sky refuses to cooperate.

January and Grief: A Loud, Quiet Month

January arrives right after the holidays like, “Hope you enjoyed that—now back to reality.”

The lights come down. The gatherings end. The adrenaline fades. And suddenly it’s just you, your thoughts, and a forecast that includes the phrase “feels like.”

For many people navigating grief:

• The quiet feels louder

• The empty spaces feel bigger

• The energy to “push through” disappears by the first week

Add gray skies, limited daylight, and the inability to get out in nature, and January can feel like an endurance test.

Redefining Joy After Loss

If joy means constant happiness, enthusiasm, or loving this season of life—then no. January is not the place.

But at Grief & Joy, we define joy differently.

Joy after loss is smaller. Quieter. More realistic. Sometimes a little sarcastic.

Joy in January might look like:

• Laughing at the fact that fleece lined leggings are your only clothing option

• Appreciating that cancelling plans because of weather is socially acceptable

• Standing in a sunny window pretending it’s doing more than it actually is

• Daydreaming about palm trees while wearing wool socks and curled up by the fireplace

This kind of joy doesn’t sparkle.
It simply says, “This is hard—and I’m still here.”

Humor: An Underrated Grief Tool

Humor doesn’t erase grief.
It gives it a little breathing room.

Laughing in January doesn’t mean you aren’t sad.
It means you’re choosing to survive the season with your sense of humor intact.

Dark humor counts. Dry humor counts. “Why do I live here?” humor absolutely counts.

Sometimes joy in winter grief looks like laughing at the absurdity of it all—because the alternative is screaming into the cold, and honestly, that takes too much energy.

January Is Not a Reinvention Month

Let’s agree on this:

January is not for:

• Reinventing yourself. 

• Crushing goals

• Becoming the best version of you

Even with all of those new year, new you expectations sitting in front of you!

January is for:

• Getting through the day

• Drinking something warm

• Letting yourself imagine being somewhere sunny without guilt

Joy can be as simple as lowering the bar and stepping over it carefully.

You don’t need a new routine.
You don’t need a vision board.
You don’t need “new year, new you.”

You just need you, exactly as you are, navigating grief in winter.

Small Joys Still Matter

If you’re looking for joy in January, look small. Look sideways. Look gently.

Joy might be:

• That first sip of coffee before the day starts and cuddle time with your dog

• Enjoying the beauitiful sunrises and sunsets

• Trying something new, like quilting, to challenge yourself

• Crawling back in to bed with your partner for some morning spooning

These moments aren’t insignificant.
They’re how we get through.

And in grief, getting through is everything.

Joy and Grief Can Coexist (Yes, Even in January)

You can miss someone deeply and laugh today.
You can feel heavy and crave warmth and light.
You can love the Midwest and wish January came with a direct flight to somewhere sunny.

Joy doesn’t cancel grief.
It sits beside it.
Sometimes quietly. Sometimes awkwardly. Sometimes with a sarcastic comment about the weather.

And honestly? January feels like the perfect month for that kind of joy—the kind that doesn’t pretend everything is fine, but still finds reasons to stay.

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A Grief & Joy Reminder

If all you do this month is:

• Wake up

• Get through the day

• Find one moment that feels okay

That is enough.

At Grief & Joy, we believe joy doesn’t require perfect circumstances—or even good ones. It can exist alongside grief, loss, humor, longing, and Midwest winters that refuse to end.

If this resonates, you’re not alone.

✨ Stay connected with Grief & Joy
Follow along for honest conversations, gentle humor, and reminders that joy and grief can coexist—no matter the season.

Because if joy can exist in January in Iowa, it can exist anywhere.