What our 137-Year-Old Barn Is Teaching Us About Building Our Next Chapter

When Ben and I first started talking about renovating our 137-year-old barn, we knew it would be a big project. What we didn't realize was how much it would teach us—not just about construction, but about communication, problem-solving, patience, our relationship, and ourselves.

Like many people dreaming about their next chapter, we started with a vision. We could picture what the barn might become someday. We could imagine family gatherings, guests enjoying the space, and a place that reflected the life we're intentionally building.

What we couldn't see were all the lessons waiting behind the walls.

As we've worked through this renovation, we've discovered that building something new often has less to do with the structure itself and more to do with what the process teaches you along the way.

Lesson #1: You Don't Know What You Don't Know
(There is no playbook for this project!)

There is something humbling about taking on a project that is completely outside your expertise. I can manage projects in my sleep. But, in this case, we are having to rely largely on research and the expertise of other contractors because all of this is new to both of us. Even with relying on contractors, they do not have barn renovation experience!

Before this renovation, I couldn't have told you much about how to clean and preserve the barn wood, insulation approaches that allow you to keep the original wood on the inside of the building but new board and batten on the outside, water and septic systems, or the countless decisions that go into making an old structure functional in Iowa's ever-changing climate AND helped us eliminate our bat problem.

Every week seems to bring a new challenge, a new question, or a new decision we didn't know we'd need to make.

What I've learned is that expertise isn't built overnight. It's built one question, one decision at a time.

The same thing happens when you start a business, prepare for retirement, navigate grief, or pursue a dream you've never attempted before. There isn't a handbook that magically appears with all the answers.

Sometimes the only way forward is to ask questions, learn as you go, and trust that you'll figure out the next step when you get there.

Lesson #2: Communication Is Harder Than It Looks

One of the biggest surprises of this project has been how much communication matters.

At first, it seems simple enough. You describe what you want. Someone else builds it. This has been challenging because very few people have been able to understand the vision of what we are trying to create. I ended up getting to the point of telling potential contractors that came out to look at the project, that if they couldn't see the vision we shared, they didn't need to bother to send a proposal! Many people would look and say, "It's a barn. How are you going to make it an Airbnb?"

In reality, every person involved brings their own perspective, experience, and interpretation.

We've learned that what seems obvious in our minds isn't always obvious to someone else. A vision that feels crystal clear to one person can mean something entirely different to another.

That applies to conversations between Ben and me, conversations with contractors, and even conversations among the contractors themselves.

We've had moments where everyone thought they were on the same page, only to discover later that we were reading entirely different books. We have had contractors show up before 6am to start work and never let us know they were coming!

The renovation has taught us to ask better questions, clarify assumptions, and spend more time ensuring everyone understands the desired outcome before moving forward.

It turns out communication isn't just about talking. It's about creating shared understanding. And it is not easy!

Lesson #3: Old Structures Have Their Own Stories

One thing we've learned quickly is that a 137-year-old barn doesn't always cooperate

with modern plans.

Every old structure has its own personality, history, strengths, and limitations.

Sometimes we uncover something that was built incredibly well and has stood the test of time. Other times we discover evidence of repairs, modifications, or solutions from decades ago that leave us scratching our heads.

There have been moments when we've had to adjust our plans because the barn simply wasn't built for what we originally envisioned. For example, sure, it would be great to have more open space in the center of the lower level. But, those posts are the structural integrity of the whole barn! 

And honestly, when you think about that it feels like a pretty good metaphor for life.

None of us begin a new chapter with a blank slate. We all carry experiences, successes, disappointments, losses, and lessons from the chapters that came before.

The goal isn't to erase that history.

The goal is to honor it while building something new.

Lesson #4: Perfect Plans Don't Exist

If there's one thing this project has reinforced, it's that no plan survives contact with reality. This is the floor plan for the lower level of the barn. I think we have modified this 4 times now. And it will still be modified more!

Every time we think we've figured out the next phase, we uncover something unexpected.

A hidden issue.
A structural challenge.
A weather delay.
A design adjustment.

What we've learned is that progress doesn't require certainty.

It requires adaptability. 

For much of my career, success often meant creating plans, minimizing risk, and executing efficiently. Renovating an old barn has reminded me that some of life's most meaningful projects simply don't work that way.

Sometimes you have to make the best decision you can with the information you have today and adjust as new information emerges tomorrow.

That's true in construction.

It's also true in life.

Lesson #5: Problem Solving Is a Muscle

One unexpected gift of this renovation has been discovering just how capable we are of solving problems we never anticipated.

At the beginning of the project, many of the challenges felt overwhelming. 

Now, while they may still be frustrating at times, they feel less intimidating.

Why?

Because every problem we've solved has built confidence for the next one.

We've learned that most obstacles aren't dead ends. They're puzzles.

Sometimes the solution requires research. Sometimes it requires expert advice. Sometimes it requires creativity.

And occasionally, it requires accepting that there isn't a perfect solution—only the best available one.

The more challenges we face, the more confidence we gain in our ability to navigate whatever comes next.

I am currently problem solving the shower situation in the lower level. I have a vision for how I want this to turn out but there have been challenges and estimated costs getting in the way.

Lesson #6: Progress Is Messy

Social media loves before-and-after photos.

What it rarely shows is everything in between.

The delays.
The dust.
The sore muscles.
The uncertainty.
The revisions.
The two times the internet cable was cut.
The nicked LP line.
The moments when it feels like nothing is happening at all.

Real progress is often messy.

There have been days when we've questioned decisions, worried about costs, or wondered whether we'll ever reach the finish line.

But when we step back and compare where we are today to where we started, the progress becomes clear.

I've realized that meaningful growth often feels slow while you're living it.

You only recognize how far you've come when you pause long enough to look back.

Lesson #7: Learning to Let Go of Control

Perhaps the biggest lesson of all has been learning to let go. This is a challenge for both of us!

You can research every option.
Create detailed plans.
Hire talented people.
Prepare for contingencies.

And still, things will happen that are beyond your control.

The weather won't cooperate.
Materials will be delayed.
Unexpected issues will surface.

The barn will reveal something you never anticipated.

This project has reminded me that control is often an illusion.

What matters more is how we respond when things don't go according to plan. I generally laugh! Sometimes this makes Ben angry but eventually, he gets there too!

Flexibility, patience, and trust have become just as important as blueprints and budgets.

Building More Than a Barn

When we started this renovation, we thought we were restoring an old barn.

In many ways, we still are.

But somewhere along the way, it became clear that we're building something bigger.

We're building new skills.
New confidence.
New dreams.
New possibilities.

We're learning how to navigate uncertainty together. We're discovering what matters most. And we're creating a space that reflects the life we're intentionally choosing to build.

The barn may be over 100 years old, but the lessons it's teaching us couldn't be more relevant for this next chapter.

And perhaps that's the greatest surprise of all.

Sometimes the projects we take on to transform a place end up transforming us instead.

If you missed our first blog in the series, you should check that out too!
From Grief to Freedom: How our Barn Renovation is Shaping an Intentional Early Retirement.